Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Dr. Ruth Pfau

January 18, 2013

Image     This is Sahar’s speech for her religion culmination exam


           Good Afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Today we are here to learn about the candidates for the Pontifical Society for the Propagation of the Faith Award. Today I would like to introduce you to someone who I feel is exactly the type of person who deserves this honour. She is known as “the angel of Karachi”, “mother of persons affected by leprosy”, and even as “Pakistan’s Mother Teresa”. This heroic person is someone who has never sought out the spotlight for herself but spends every waking hour defending those who are ignored and forgotten. Ladies and gentlemen I would like to introduce you to Dr. Ruth Pfau.

                Dr. Pfau was never a stranger to struggles and atrocity. She was born in Leipzig, Germany   on September 9th, 1929. Being a German during World War 2 gave her a front row seat to the horrors committed by the Nazi’s. The genocide and massacre she witnessed inspired her to become a doctor in the hopes of helping others. After the end of the War she made the dangerous trek from communist East Germany to Democratic West Germany in order to pursue a medical education. During her time in medical school she became exposed to the various groups within Christianity. She was inspired by, the words of St. Thomas Aquinas and John of Damascus; Dr. Pfau decided to convert to Catholicism. She believed that the Pope was required in order to find theological truth and as an authority figure in the Church. Her devotion to God was so strong and unshakable that she eventually became a nun and joined the Daughters of the Heart of Mary order.

                Dr. Pfau’s skills as a doctor made her an asset to the Order’s various charity missions. In 1960 she was given an assignment to help with the healthcare of the poor in Bombay, India.  However, due to visa problems she was stopped over in Pakistan in the urban city of Karachi. It was there that her life changed forever. While in Karachi, Dr. Pfau and her companion nun visited a leper beggar colony in the less desirable part of the city. It was an experience that she will never forget. She later recalls the event in The Express Tribune, “I felt saddened when I saw people living in caves, crawling like animals. They had compromised with their faith but it was not their fate, they deserved a much better and happier life.” Seeing the slum-like conditions of the colony, Dr. Pfau realized that God had stopped her over in Karachi  for a reason and that her real missions was to help those unfortunate and vulnerable souls whose eyes she had looked into only to find God looking back at her.

                Dr. Pfau has now spent over half a century in Pakistan. She has trained many doctors and volunteers in leprosy care and has even helped create the Mary Adelaide Leprosy Centre which works all over the country to provide care for leprosy patients. Now, although the story of how she became a nun and help the lepers in Pakistan was not as exciting as the typical call stories of the prophets it was all Dr. Pfau needed to realize her mission in life. Although, God did not speak directly to her the way he had to Abraham and Moses, Dr. Pfau still knew that God was calling to her through the suffering she had witnessed throughout her life and in the beggar colony. She might not have had a direct conversation with God, but she also never had that moment of doubt that the other prophets did. She never hesitated to help the lepers after she met them. She mentions this in an article in, “Well if it doesn’t hit you the first time, I don’t think it will ever hit you.”

                Dr. Pfau is someone who always knows what she needs to do. In Karachi, she witnessed an injustice she knew, in her conscience, was wrong, she found a solution to it and then worked hard to make her idea a reality. She was never someone who was dishonest; every penny raised for the leprosy fund has been used for the purpose it was donated for. Despite the heavy corruption in Pakistan, Dr Pfau has never used a dishonest means to get money for her cause and has always acted for those whose cries go unheard of within the traffic and rush of Karachi.

                One other quality of Dr. Pfau’s is something that further reinforces the fact that she deserves this award.  Dr. Pfau has never let her hard work keep her away from her faith. Every morning she wakes and prays at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Karachi. She does not make a big show of her praying but does it quietly and in private where it is just her and God. She always treats her fellow human beings with dignity and respect regardless of their situation in life. She is someone who mourns for others when they are in need.  She feels the pain of people when they are treated like second-class citizens because of their leprosy. Dr. Pfau is also someone who is poor in spirit. She is always donating her time and effort to help those in need at the leprosy colony. She also does not use her fame to increase her own standard of living but to help those who really need it. For example, when she had an interview with a prominent Pakistani new channel Geo, she spent the bulk of the time promoting care for leprosy instead of talking about herself. Every time she receives an award, she always mentions her patients first. She uses her spotlight to increase the attention on the leprosy patients so that they can also have a voice. She is someone who treats her patients with gentleness and compassion and works hard to support the lives of others by offering medical care, food and funds. Dr. Pfau has always promoted the life of her patients and refuses to allow them to suffer. She does not crave material possessions, for she knows that God is the greatest treasure. Dr. Pfau does not always travel the easier path; in fact, she usually chooses the road less travelled because she knows that while it is not easy being Catholic, in the end it will pay off. For example, she knew beforehand that the life of a nun meant certain sacrifices and hardships but she knew that the light at the end of the tunnel was God and to reach that light she was going to have to crawl through the narrow tunnel. She did not use her medical training to live the comfortable life most doctors do. Instead she used it to help enhance the lives of those that had next to nothing.

                Not only is Dr. Pfau an admirable Catholic but she is also an exemplary human being. She knew that God had placed inside of her a natural inclination to do good and a skill in medicine so that she could heal people. She used this skill to help the lepers, and later, the flood victims in northern Pakistan because she knew that this was her teleology. She used fortitude and prudence to help out an entire community. She also thinks every person is unique and deserves respect because they are created in God’s image and that just because you are a leper or a poor farmer does not mean that you are below everyone.  

                Although Dr. Pfau was never someone who went out and actively sought out the spotlight her courageous work could not go unaccredited. She has been given various awards throughout her life to commend her for her excellent work. A few awards she won are-Order of the Cross in 1968 from Germany, and honorary Doctor of Science degree in 2004 from Aga Khan University (Pakistan’s leading medical school), and the prestigious “Nishan-i-quaid-i-Azam Award” presented to her by the president of Pakistan in 2011.

                Through her hard work, Dr. Pfau made Pakistan, a nation considered sub-standard when compared to other great nations in Asia, the first country in the continent to have leprosy controlled. She is someone who has always stayed faithful to God and her devotion to Catholicism is something to be admired.  She is a light of hope in a dark world for many and I personally consider her a living legend. I hope that you all now also see her as the person who should receive this honour and as someone everyone should aspire to be like. Thank you for your attention.



Nihari…Passions and Traditions

May 28, 2011

It was a very captivating scene. My friend Andrew, a born Britisher who as a kid moved to Canada, eating Nihari with full zeal and devotion…..and this was his first time. I never thought that anybody from this part of the world can not only taste Nihari but also enjoy it. This dish whose story goes back about 200 years has now conquered the world rising from the city of Dilli. (the name old Dilli walla use for Dehli)

My mind went back to its origins. Ashraf Saboohi, in his very interesting book Dilli ki chand ajeeb hastiyan wrote:

I have heard from our elders that when Saadat Khan cleaned the Shah Jehani Nehar (Canal) and it started flowing again in the middle of Dehli, Alvi Khan Hakeen wore the funeral dress and entered the Court. When king Mohammad Shah asked the reason he said, I am crying over the lost health of the city. Disease will now become rampant. When asked about the cure, he advised increasing the use of Red Chillies and Khataai (I do not know its English translation). In order to reduce the effects of these heavy duty spices, it was recommended to add pure ghee.”

So the king ordered the cook to design a dish as per the Hakeem’s specifications. It is actually a type of Qorma where only beef shank meet is used. Fried onions, hot ghee, lemon, slices of garlic and coriander leaves are used as dressing and it is served with hot naan bread. Bone marrow and goat brain are added delicacy. (I have seen people adding makhan ka baghar (fried butter) also). After the dish it was customary to eat Gajar ka halwa (Carrot pudding) to reduce the effects of spices. At Burns road in Karachi, all the good halwa and rabri shops were next to Nihari shops. I don’t know whether they now exist or not. After reading the above paras, you would have guessed correctly that coronary disease was not discovered or was not given much thought during those days.

The Nihari wala that has been mentioned by every Dilliwala was Ganja Nihari wala who took the preparation of this dish to an art. During those times, Nihari was more of a winter dish. It was not available throughout the year as it is now. It used to be eaten early in the morning. It was especially liked by the poor as this food is enough for them till dinner. It was cheap during those days and skipping lunch would save money for them. Rest of the year, these Nihari walas used to sell other dishes but not Nihari.

The making of Nihari was an art. As per Ujjra Dayar By Shahid Ahmed Dehlvi (grandson of Deputy Nazir Ahmed:

Usually a hole was dug near the shop where the pot was put into with a window below to put the coal in. After putting all the spices and meat, it used to be cooked for the whole night. The tradition was to eat Nihari at the shop. There is only one daig or pot. So whoever comes early, rich or poor will get the order. Once it is finished, you have to wait till the next day.

This reminds me of my childhood. Our Nihari wala was Sagheer from Dehli Muslim hotel (not the Kalia) at Burns Road. Sagheer and our family go a long way. His grandfather used to be our family bawarchi (cook for special occasions) and served my great great grandfather. We were totally prohibited from buying Nihari from any other place. Nihari was only ordered in winter and also only for breakfast. Usually on a Wednesday, Sagheer was called and was told that we will be having Nihari for the weekend. On Saturday evening, my uncles would leave our pateelas (pots) at his shop. Sunday morning, one of them usually wakes up quite early to make the trip to the shop. We try to wake up too to join him. There Sagheer would use to fill our order himself rather than the servant as taking out the Nihari was regarded as an art. He knows who in our family like adla and who wanted reshay wali boti. Nalis and bhejas was wrapped separately along with the Naans. On our return home, the big dastar khawan (eating mat) was spread in our big room. Special newly polished copper plates (Qalai wali rakabi) were used to eat Nihari. My grandmother and mother would have already made the baghar (hot oil) that used to be put on the Nihari. It used to be warmed again. Our old servant Bahadur Ali used to warm the naans on our angheeti (coal fired stove). We used to sweat during those early winter mornings due to the warmth and spices of that Nihari. There was no lunch and a very light dinner (usually Kichri) was served in the evening.

Now when I look back all those characters are gone. Sagheer died quite early and his hotel is gone. I think he had a kidney transplant operation in India and became quite famous as he was one of the earlier Pakistanis who had this kind of a procedure over there. His interview was even published in Akhbar-e-Jahan, if my memory serves me right. We started buying Nihari from Waheed hotel and also tried from Malik’s. They were good but not like Sagheer. We used to laugh at Sabris. We used to call it the spice less or sick man’s Nihari. Then came the big revolution where Nihari Inns were opened at every corner and it became a dish of all seasons. I remember when we first looked at Nihari at a wedding reception, we were quite shocked. That was the age of innocence.

So Nihari has moved from the Bhatyaras of Dilli to the Sabri hotel at Chicago. It has lost a bit of spice in the transformation but it has still regained the numero uno position (at least in my heart) of the dishes from our part of the world. It still dazzles the palate, and sometimes the digestive systems, from people of all color and nations.


May 28, 2011

Behind the Dubai palace in Karachi, near the seashore, there lives a merry old man. He holds a treasure which is unparallel in this world. A treasure which is most likely to be destroyede……… The reason being, most of us still questions the validity of the argument that it is indeed a treasure.

In his house under specially built cabinets are rows and rows of audio tapes. When played they tell you the history of Indo Pakistan music, literature and poetry. You can find Ustad Bundo Khan playing his Sarangi, Pathanay Khan singing his tunes, Chotay and Baray Bokhari reciting their essays in the earlier days of Radio Pakistan, Maulana Thanvi and Rasheed Turrabi reciting Quran or giving sermons or Faiz Ahmed recording his entire Nushka Hai Wafa in a span of 20 years in his studio. All this is not disorderly, you will find neatly bound 42 volumes of just his music catalogue showing which tapes contains which masterpiece, from which counter number to what counter number, sung or played by whom, what raag and what instruments. If this is not enough at the ripe old age of 93, this man, alone is trying to convert this universe of sound to digital media from tape. Did I forget to mention, he is an avid collector, traveller, photographer and author. His biography “Hijraton Kay Silsalay” won the Prime Minister award in 1998 right before the Prime Minister was send packing. The name of this mad man is Lutfullah Khan. But before delving deeper into his collection let’s dig deeper into who he is.

Born on November 25, 1916 in Madras, his father was in South Indian Railway. His childhood was spent on transfer from one city to another. Although he tried his hands at different hobbies, however music, writing and art were things that became part of his soul. He describes his interest as more of a “junoon” as far as music is concerned. To have a better understanding of this “junoon” and his mastery of music itself, his book “Sur Ki Talaash” is a must read. He had extra-ordinary fascination for music and singing from his childhood. He participated as an amateur singer at the Madras Boys and Girls Exhibition in the year 1931 and received the merit award for Hindustani Music. He signed an agreement in 1933 for classical singing with the Indian State Broadcasting Service, later re-named as All India Radio. He performed publicly at the age of 19, during a radio concert in 1935. Known as Madras Radio Artist, he sang Ghazals at a function of Muslim Students Association of St. Xaviers College in January 1939 and rendered classical singing at Bombay in December the same year. During quarter century of daily practice (1963-1988), he practiced singing with Maulana Abdul Shakoor (nephew of Ustad Abdul Karim Khan) and explored the intricacies of only one raag, the Darbari. His “junoon” of collection also started from those days. His collection of stamps, coins and film pamphlets of his teen years can still be seen in the neatly organized show cases in his house. His museum gallery displays rare photographs, photography equipment, International and Pakistani coins, and a set of 12 inch 78 rpm discs of Late “Barey Ghulam Ali Khan Sahib”, sound recording equipment and accessories, drawing instrument and stationary items used in documenting the collections and personal items of nostalgic importance as well as a wonderful matchbox collection. But the pick of this array is an album containing posters of old Hindi and American movies, some of them dating back to twenties. All are arranged in properly illuminated showcases and display boards. Electronic devices installed include “Revox” tape recorders. Such a broad based collection requires periodic maintenance for which he has established in a separate room a small workshop with inventory of spares and tools.

His archive contains a large number of rare books on a variety of subjects, including religion. In his personal files, papers are arranged in chronological order in a healthy state. Indexing has been done in simple manner to facilitate easy location of the desired document.

In 1938, he moved to Bombay. He was employed in the government’s rationings department. One of the responsibilities was to transport various stuff to different cities of India. He had the good chance to see almost all of India (except for Calcutta and Kashmir which he still regrets).
He landed in Karachi on October 17, 1947. This trip was more of an exploratory nature. But who has escaped the magic of this medusa? However the start of his love affair is unique. He mentions that he was stung by the beauty and cleanliness of this city. However he was stunned to look at Karachi’s double roties (sandwich bread). They were fresh and pure white. Unlike the stale yellow rationed breads of Bombay. “To yeh madrasi naujawan, Karachi ki double rotiyon ko dil day bheta”. He telegrammed his family to move over here and this love affair is still strong after 62 years. If you want to know more about Karachi and its inhabitants of yesteryears, his biography is an eye opener. He mentions a host of Sindhi Hindus and Christian which helped him establish himself and how they were all Karachities first and foremost, a thing which sounds like a Cinderella story today. He mentioned only one Muslim to compare with this group. That gentleman was Abdul Salam, my nana (maternal grandfather) and that is how I came to know Lutfullah Sahib so intimately.
Photography was his passion for a long time. In Bombay the famous actor De Billemoria was his friend. He had a chance to borrowing his 16mm Kodak movie camera and made movies of different occasions. However his real passion blossomed in Karachi. His friend bought the Thackersons photography shop. He lent his Roliflex camera to him to take picture. He took picture of the old buildings and the new offices and homes that are taking shape to absorb the new country and its administration. He made an album about Business on footpath which consists of all the things that are done on Karachi’s footpaths, right from small businesses to snake charmers, palmists, lizard show (saanday ka teel), ear cleaner etc. There was another album called business on wheels which shows fruit, vegetable, cloth, shoe etc vendors of Karachi on four wheel carts. He created his own dark room at his home and used to do his own developing and processing. In 1951, he bought a Swiss made Boulex Pylord 16mm camera and started making documentaries. One of the most memorable one was a cricket match between the Prime minister, his cabinet and the parliament members at the Karachi Gymkhana. One side was lead by Mohammad Ali Bogra and the other by the famous Maulvi Tameez Uddin Khan. The minster Mr. Chittophadia was bowling in his dhoti and Maulvi sahib was batting in his sheerwani. The organizer was Ahmed E.H. Jaafer. He bought several cameras and took thousands of pictures during his travels throughout the globe. The cameras and pictures album forms a part of this treasure.
Then started the story of his real “junoon”. He started his own advertising agency. One of his clients imported an audio recording machine in 1951. The objective was to see whether there is any demand of such product over here. Lutfullhah Khan Sahib bought the machine and 22 tapes for Rs1, 146 and 10 annas (needless to say, the machine and the receipt forms a part of his collection). He first started by doing audio recordings of his family members especially his mother. Those days, tapes were made of a sort of paper and were not so durable. But how much family talk can you record. He had a small mountain of 22 tapes. Once day just for experiment he recorded a Shahnai program from Radio Pakistan. The result was excellent. Next was a mushaira from All India Radio and then the speech of Liaquat Ali Khan where he said his famous sentence “Sheikh Abdullah, Kashimir tumharay baap ki jaagir nahin hain.”
I am not going into details about the recorders, microphone and the tapes that he mentioned he used in his quest. He is a master of what to use at what occasion. But the actual accomplishments is not recording this huge collection encompassing music, drama, poetry, prose, fine arts, religion and education but the minutely detailed catalogues he created to find a tape on any subject. As mentioned before the catalogue and the tape hold all details. Let’s take the example of the music section. It is divided into 7 sub sections:

 The first section is instrumental music. It contains items on almost all music instruments of the sub continent by masters of that era. Some of the examples are in Surood, Hafiz Ali Khan and Ali Akbar Khan, in Sitar Inayat Khan, Vilayat Khan, Ravi Shankar and Ustaad Sharif Khan poonch walay. In Shehnai Bismillah Khan, in flute Panna Lah Ghosh, in table Ahmed Jaan, Allah Rakkha etc, in Sarangi Bundo Khan. He includes about 46 items of Bundo khan in his collection. He tells an interesting story about Ustaad Umrao Bundo khan, the son of Ustaad Bundu khan. At 10:30 pm in 1978, somebody rang the bell. When he opened the door, it was Umrao Bundu with his Shahnai. “Lutfullah sahib, I want to play Peelu for you today.” That 14 minute 12 second rendition of Peelu was one of the best he had in that section.
 The second section consists of Classical singers such as Fayaz Hussain Khan, Moizuddin Khan, Chand Khan Zakir brothers and so many more.
 Semi classical music occupies the third section. This is more of Thumri, Pahari, Dadra, Kaafi, Bhajan etc. Fourth consis of Ghazals (including 318 of Mehdi Hasan) including Begum Akhtar, Sehgal, Shamshad, Rauf Dakkani, Mukhtar Begum, Mushtri Bai etc.
 Fifth is songs,
 Sixth is Folk Music
 Finally his seventh sub-section is Qawwali.
As mentioned above this is catalogued in 42 volumes and this is a smaller section as compared to the Literature section.
The Urdu literature section is divided into poetry and prose. Poetry contains the work of 800 poets. Faiz and Akhtar ul Imaan recorded their entire work for his library. Some of the other names are Jagan Nath Azaad, Sufi Ghulam Mustafa Tabassum, Parveen Shakir, Josh, Jigar, Khatir Ghaznavi Ali Sardar Jaafri, Kaifi Aazmi, Faraz and ect. Prose contains such items as Aal Ahmed Suroor, Ibrahim Jalees, Bokhari, Taaj, Hayat ullah Ansari, Rajinder Singh Bedi, Joginder Paal, Chiragh Hasan Hasrat, Anwar Sadid, Khadija Mastoor, Rashid Ahmed Siddiqui, Dr. Zakir Hussain and hundreds more. The scholars and speeches sections include names like A.K. Barohi, Sir Zafar Ullah Khan, Rashidi brothers, Dr. Saleemuzaman Siddiqui, Karrah Hussain, Bahadur Yaar Jang, Abdul Hameed Bhashani, Bhutto, Rajindir Parshad, Suharwardy, Ghandhi and Jinnah. Similarly the religion section includes Thanvi, Syed Mohammad Razi, Zaheen Shah Taji, Mufti Mohammad Shafi etc One of the smaller but a unique section is interviews of artists like Jimmy Engineer, Iqbal Jeoffrey, Iqbal Mehdi, Bashir Mirza, Sadequin, Shakir Mirza etc.
The story of this journey is extremely interesting. His book, “Tamashaye Ahal-e-Zauq” provides profiles some of the personalities above and efforts that were put to record them. Especially the struggle to record Faiz Sahib in a span of 20 years is worth a read.
Now let’s venture into the darker part of our story. I mentioned at the start that this treasure will soon be no more. There is a reason behind it. Tapes have a life of their own. They can only be saved if they are converted to digital media. Khan Sahib is doing this job himself but you can very well imagine what to expect from a 93 year old. He has been approached by some organizations but he flatly refused. The reason; they want to have the treasure for free. He has been offered an outstanding price of this collection from India but he refused too as he want to keep this collection in Pakistan. His argument is that if nobody in Pakistan thinks that my lifetime work which is in part a unique history of Indo-Pakistan on sound is worth nothing and it would not benefit me and my family in anyway than this should be destroyed. The whole effort of recording and organizing this collection is my “junoon”. Letting it rot is another dimension of my “junoon”. He worked tirelessly for this collection and if this mighty nation of 170 million who spent billions on things from arms to tea and cars cannot spend a few millions for acquiring and safeguarding their own audio heritage than perhaps his logic is make sense.
So next time when you are in the Shanakht festival in Karachi and you see this old frail white haired young man showing the history of this great city, try to see as much as possible, perhaps next year they will be no more.

What is wrong with this picture?

September 23, 2010

This picture was posted on Daily Jang”s website on September 22, 2010. I was quite intrigued by it. This is a scene of a makeshift school in one of the relief camps of Sehwan. The scenario is quite commendable. Most of the kids (I think all of them) are girls. This is probably the first time they are sitting in a class room. So what does it say about us. We are using the mayhem of floods as an opportunity. We are educating the next generation, better still mostly girls. We are introducing them to education. They were not given this opportunity in their villages so we have used the makeshift arrangement of the relief camp to break the traditions…All good and sweet.

But something is not right. Look at their faces. They have no idea what is happening. They seem to belong to the most backward/poorest part of the society. The only language they know (I assume) is Sindhi. Now look at the blackboard. C for Cat and D for dog…Does this make sense?. Look at the perfect drawings at the blackboard.

So we have a picture of makeshift classroom of girls belonging to the poorest areas being taught English? When perhaps this is the first time they are being introduced to a classroom.

So what is this? A bold attempt to educate the future mothers or a Kodak picture perfect moment by the NGOs for the Western audience/donors. You decide.

ستاروں بھرا آسمان

April 21, 2010

میرے بچپن کا آسمان ستاروں سے کیسا بھرا ہوا ہوتا تھا۔ 

 یہ بات ایسے یاد آئ کہ کسی نے آسمان دیکھ کر کہا

 ” کتنے ستارے  نظر آ رہے ہیں”۔ میں نے نظر اٹھا کر

دیکھا تو آسمان ستاروں سےمزین تھا


چھتیس سال پہلے کی بات یاد آءی۔71 کی جنگ

 زوروں پہ تھی۔ شہر میں بلیک آؤٹ ہوا تھا۔ میں

 باہر چارپاءی پر اپنے نانا کے ساتھ لیٹا ہوا تھا۔

 آسمان ایسے لگ رہا تھا جیسے کسی الھژ دوشیزہ

 کی ستاروں بھری اوڑھنی۔ (خدا جانے یہ ادیبوں

 کی ٹھرک کب جاۓ گی۔ ہر استعارے میں دوشیزہ

 کود جاتی ہے)۔ وقت نےاتنے موٹے شیشوں کی

عینک لگا دی جسے اتار کر پتہ ہی نہیں چلتا کہ

 سامنے دوشیزہ ہے کہ انسپکٹر جعفر حسین۔

ہاں وہ تھا کراچی کا بلیک آؤٹ والا آسمان اور

 یہ ہے ٹورونٹو کی سفید جہنم والی سردی کا

 ٹھٹھرتا ہوا آسمان۔ مگر روشنیوں سے مرصع۔

 جب برف گرتی ہے تو باہر اتنی روشنی ہو جاتی

 ہے کہ بقول ہماری دادی رمضان کی راتوں میں نور

 برس رہا ہے۔

کیا کچھ نہ بدلہ ان سالوں میں، زمین چھوٹی، ماں باپ

 کو چھوڑا صرف ایک دیوانگی اور ایک خواب کہ

 چلو چل کہ دکھاتے ہیں کہ ہم کیا ہیں۔ اس دیوانگی

 نے کیا کچھ نہ دیا- مگر وہ آسمان- وہ جو کبھی ستاروں

 سےمزین تھے اور وہ  آسمان جو منوں مٹی اوڑھے سو

 رھے تھے وہ چھوٹ گۓ۔

آج سوچتا ہوں کیسے کیسے آسمان کسطرح کھو جاتے

 ہیں۔یادآتا ہے کہ اسکول میںایک دوست ہوتا تھا راجہ

 ۔ نا م کا بھی اور دل کابھی ۔ کئ سال بعد پتہ چلا کہ وہ

 پنجابی تھا۔ یہ تقسیم بھع بہت بعد میں پتہ چلی (زندگی

 بھر ہم ایسے ہی گدھے رہے) خیر انکا خاندان اسکول کہ

 پاس گورنمنٹ کوارٹرز میں رہتا تھا۔اسکی والدہ کا

 انتقال ہو گیا۔ تدفین پر انکے والد نے اعلان کیاکہ وہ

 قادیانی ہیں۔ لہذا جو لوگ شرکت نہ کرنا چاہیں انکا

 شکریہ۔ محلے والے تسلیمات ایسے بجا لا ۓ کہ انکو

 محلے سے نکال دیا۔ہم سب کی شکل دیکھتے رہ گۓ۔

 ہاں “لا اکراہ فی الدین” کا مطلب سمجھ میں آ گیا۔ ‎سر

 اٹھا کر اوپر دیکھا تو نظر کمزور تھی اور تارے کچھ کم کم۔

وقت گزرتا گیا نۓ نۓ انکشافات ہوتے گۓ۔ ایک دن جمعہ

 کے خطبے میں مولوی صاحب نے بتایا کہ شیعہ کافر ہوتے

 ہیں۔ ہمارے صحابہ کو گالیاں دیتے ہیں۔ لہذا ہم نے دس

 محرم کا جلوس کا جواب دینے کے لیۓ (جو کہ ایک بدعت

 ہے) بارہ ربیع الاول کے جلوس کی بنیار ڈالی ہے۔

پھر 77 آیا اور ہم پر یہ “من حیث اللقوم” القا ہواکہ ہم دراصل

 مسلمان ہیں اور ہمیں چودہ سو سال سے اندھیرے میں رکھا

 گیا تھا۔  اس زمانے میں پانی نہ آنا اور بجلی کاجانا بھی یہود

 وہنود کی سازش ہوتی تھی۔ (کمبخت کیا قافیہ ملاتے تھے)۔

بیویاں پورا دوپٹہ اوڑھ کر اپنے میاں سے الگ پلنگ پہ سوتی

 تھیں۔ مزمل حسین صاحب محلے کے سوشل ورکر تھے۔

 سمجھاتے تھے کہ گلییوں کو صاف رکھنے کی ذمہ داری

 ہماری ہے۔ کتا بھی کہیں بیٹھتا ہے تو دم سے جگہ صاف کر

 کہ بیٹھتا ہے ہم تو اشرف المخلوقات ہیں۔ مگر ایک شدید

 شرعی نقص تھا ان میں جس نہ انکی تمام اچھائیوں پہ پردہ

 ڈال دیا تھا۔ وہ  شیعہ تھے محرم میں گھر پر مجلس کروایا کرتے تھے۔

 باقاعدہ نواسہءرسول کا ماتم ہوتا تھا۔ہمارے تایا کا ارشاد

 ہوا کہ سالہ رافضی بھنگی ہے۔

بینائ کمزور ہوتی گئ اور آسمان پہ تاریکی بڑھتی جا رہی

 تھی کہ یکایک چند بیحد بڑے انکشافات ہوۓ، جنہوں نے

 ماضی کے ان تمام کارناموں کو طاق پہ رکھ دیا۔ ایک تو یہ

 کہ افغانستان میں جہاد اکبر ہو رہا ہے اور مجاہدین نے

 صحابہ ء بدرواحد کی یاد تازہ کر دی ہے۔ دوسرے نے ہماری

آس پاس کی زندگی پہ زیادہ اثر ڈالا۔ ہمیں پتہ چلا کہ ہم مہاجر ہیں۔

 واۓ ناکامی کہ اہل زبان یہاں جاہل سندھیوں ڈگے پنجابیوں،

 قاتل پٹھانوں اور اجڈ بلوچیوں ( یا بقول شخصے عجمیوں)

 میں پھنس گۓ۔ہمارہ مقام تو ستاروں سے بھی بلند ہے۔

 (ان  ستاروں سے جنکی تعداد روز بروز کم ہوتی جا رہی

تھی) مگر صاحب پورے ملک میں سب سے پڑھے

 لکھے عالم و فاضل ہم ہیں، اسکے باوجود ہمیں ہمارا صحیح

 مقام نہیں ملا بس بھیا کا خطاب دے کر کونے میں

 بٹھا دیا ورنہ بقول داغ

اپنے محبوب کی خاطر منظور تھی ورنہ

قرآن   بھی   اترتا     بزبان    دہلی

چناچہ ہم نے ٹی وی  اور وی سی آر بیچا اور کلاشنکوف

 خرید لی اور دے مار ساڑھے چار کر دیا۔ مزاق برطرف

 ہم دوسروں کا ذکر کر رہے ہیں کہ اتنے موٹے شیشوں کی

 عینک کے ساتھ ہم غلیل بھی نہیں چلا سکتے تھے اور

 صرف چاقو دیکھ کر ہمارہ پاجامہ گیلا ہو جاتا ہے ۔

مگر ایک بڑی عجیب بات ہوئ۔ ہر بوری میں بند لاش

 پہ ایک ستارہ غائب ہو جاتا۔ کمبختوں کا آسیب انکی

 روشنی جیسے ڈھانک دیتا۔

 زیرجامہ کی طرح بدلتی جمہوری حکومتوں کے زمانے

میں ہم نے سوچا چلو میاں زمیں دیکھ فلک دیکھ کے

 مصداق یہاں سے نکل چلتے ہیں یہاں تو چودھویں

 کا چاند بھی پھیکا پڑ گیا ہے بلکہ رمضان شو؛ل اور

 ذی الحج کا پہلی کا چاند تو سرخ رنگ کا ہونے لگا ہے۔

 تذکرہ ء غوثیہ میں مذکور ہے کہ ایک پیر صاحب بمعہ

 مریدوں کے کہیں جا رہے تھے۔شام ہوئی تو پڑاؤ ڈالا۔

 ہر مرید کے ذمے خدمت کی۔ کسی کے ذمے پا نی، کسی

 کے ذمے آگ وغیرہ۔ جس مرید کے ذمے آگ کی تھی، وہ

 خالی واپس آ گیا۔ کہنے لگا میاں، اس بیاباں میں آدم نہ

 آدم زاد، آگ کہاں سے لاؤں۔ پیر صاحب ناراض ہو کر

 بولے، تمہیں اپنی طاقت کا انداذہ نہیں، میرے مرید ہو،

 زمین نہ سہی، جاؤ جہنم سے لے کر آؤ۔ مرید جہنم پہنچ

 گئے، دیکھا تو وہاں لق ودق میدان، بیچ میں ایک پتھر پہ

 ایک آدمی بیٹھا ہے۔ پوچھا تم کون، اس نے کہا، جھنم کا

 نگران۔ انہوں نے آگ مانگی تو وہ بولا میاں یہاں آگ

 کہاں۔ یہ حیران ہو کر بولے، جہنم میں آگ نہیں! وہ

بولا یہاں آگ نہیں ہوتی جو آتا ہے اپنی آگ ساتھ لے کر

 آتا ہے، چناچہ ہم نےاپنی آگ اور اپنا  تان توبڑا اٹھایا،

 جورو جاتا کو بغل میں دبایا اور ٹورونٹو میں اتر گۓ۔

 یہاں پہنچھ کر تو چکر سے آ گۓ۔ ہر شاخ پہ ایک نیا پرندہ۔

 ایک سو چھیانوے ملکوں کے لوگ اور خدا کا غضب

 اسقدر یہودوہنود کہ دیکھ دیکھ کر دماغ سن ہو جاۓ۔

 کمبخت آبکو اپنے حال میں ایسا پھنساتے ہیں توبہ۔

 اپنے ملک والے تو ذرا اتنظار کرتے ہیں، بندہ ذرا

سیٹل ہو جاۓ نوکری گھر اور گاڑی ذرا بہتر ہو جاۓ

 تو منہ لگائیں گے۔ مگر یہ لوگ تو پہلے دن سے ہی

 آپ  پر کام شروع کر دیتے ہیں۔ ہر بات پہ حوصلہ ہر

 وقت مدد کے لیۓ حاضر۔ شروع میں ہم جب پیغمبری

 وقت سے گزر رہے تھے اور ہمارے بھائی ہمیں بتا

 رہے تھے کہ یہ سب ہماری کھال کی وجہ سے ہے۔

 ایک ہندوستانی ہمارے پاس آۓ اور بولے کہ میاں شرو‏ع

 میں ہر  کوئی اس چکی سے گزرتا ہے۔ یہاں مواقع

 بیشمار، ہمت نہ ہارو لگے رہو۔ پھر ہنس کہ بولے کہ

 یار ہمارے تمہارے ملک میں اگر کوئی حبشی آجاۓ تو

 کیا سلوک کرو گے۔ بات کڑوی تھی جو اس بات کا ثبوت

 تھی کہ سچی تھی۔ ایک بات عجیب تھی کہ آسمان پہ

 ستارے کہیں زیادہ تھے۔

موسم بے تحاشہ سرد مگرجیسے ہی سردی چھٹی

 اسکی وجہہ سمجہ میں آ گئ۔ اگر یوسفی صاحب ہوتے

 تو کہتے “بقول مرزا خدا نے اس قوم پر سردی کی مار اس

 لیۓ ماری ہے کہ یہ قوم ذرا سی گرمی میں کپڑے اتار دیتی ہے”

ہم ایک دوست کے ہمراہ ڈرائیونگ لائسنس کے دفتر

 گۓ۔ باہر نکل کر وہ بولے دیکھیئے کیا انتظام تھا آپ

لائن میں لگتے گئے اور کام ہوتا چلا گیا، ہم بو لے میاں

 اگر یہ پاکستان ہوتا تو ہم باہر بن کباب والے کو پیسے دیتے

 اور پکا لائسنس لے کر گھر چلے جاتے۔ وہ اپنا مونہہ لے کر

 رہ گۓ۔

نوکری بھی ملی تو بنک میں۔ آنکھیں چوپٹ کھل گئیں۔

 کمبخت سود کو سود کہتے ہیں۔ ختنہ کر کہ مشرف بااسلام

 کر کہ مارک اپ نہیں کہتے۔ یہاں تک کہ گدھوں کو

 سود پہ سود لینا بھی نہیں آتا۔ اب آپ دیکھیے ہمارے یہاں

 مارک اپ کے ہونے سے کتنی بڑی معاشی تبدیلی آ گئی ہے۔

 دودھ کی نہریں ابل پڑیں۔ ہمارے اٹھارہ بیس فیصد سود کے

 مقابلے میں یہاں صرف چار پانچ فیصد۔ ہونہہ۔

ہنسی یوں آئی کہ جب صوبہ کیوبیک نے آزادی کی بات

 کی تو وہاں ریفرنڈم کروا دیا۔ یہ نہ کیا وہاں کی جامعہ میں

 ٹینک دوڑا دیتے، غداروں کے سروں کے مینار کھڑے کر

دیتے، انکی عورتوں کے ۔۔۔۔۔۔خیر جانے دیجئیے۔

اور تو اور کیوبیک والے بھی ایسے بزدل کہ ریفرنڈم ہار کہ

بیٹھ گۓ۔ نہ دھاندلی کے الزام نہ خودکش حملے۔ آزادی

 کہیں ایسے ملتی ہے ۔ کسی نے کیا خوب کہا ہے۔

جنوں سے اور عشق سے ملتی ہے آزادی

چند دن پہلے کی بات ہے۔ ہمارے گھر کے پاس ریلوے

 اسٹیشن پر وزیراعظم آۓ۔ ہمیں ٹی وی سے پتہ چلا۔

 ہم سکتے میں آگۓ۔ نہ کوئ ہوٹر والی گاڑی، نہ کوئ

بسوں کاجلوس، نہ ہوائ فائرنگ۔ اس سے زیادہ شان سے

 تو ہمارہ کونسلر آتا ہے۔

اپنے مذہب سے محبت کا سنیے۔ ہم اپنی کرسی پہ نماز پڑھ

رہے تھے باس آکر بولا یہاں کیوں پڑھ رہے ہو، ہم نے کہا کہ

 اے بندہ ء خدا اور کہاں پڑھیں۔ وہ گیا اور تھوڑی دیر میں

 نوٹس آ گیا کہ نماز کے اوقات میں بورڈ روم نماز کے لیۓ

 مختص ہو گا۔  کچھ دن پہلے کی بات ہے ہماری بچی

 پوچھنے لگی کہ مسلمان جمعہ کی نماز میں کیسے بم دھماکہ

 کر سکتے ہیں۔ اب ہم اسکو نماز جمعہ میں شہادت کے

 فضائل پر کیا درس دیتے۔ واقعی بچے یہاں بر مذہب سے

 بہت دور ہو جاتے ہیں۔

بات بینک سے شروع ھوئی اور کہاں پہونچ گئ۔ سود کھانے

 والوں کے ساتھ ایسا ہی ہوتا ہے۔ ہمیں برانچ بھی ملی تو خالص

 اہل یہود کے علاقے میں۔ باریش اور لمبے ہیٹ والے ہمیں دیکھ

 کر اور ہم انکو دیکھ کر چکرا گۓ۔ مگر ہم آستینیں چڑھا کر کام

میں جٹ گۓ اور جب انہوں نے دیکھا کہ بندہ کام کرنے والا ہے

تواتنا دھندا دیا کہ ہم کام سمیٹ سمیٹ کہ تھک گۓ۔ آّپ نے

 دیکھا کہ یہ لوگ پیسہ کمانے کے لیۓ کچھ بھی کر سکتے ہیں۔

 مگر ایک بات ہوئی۔ ستارے چھوڑیۓ آسمان پہ کہکشائیں

 جگمگانیں لگیں ہیں۔

کل امی کا فون آیا تھا کہنے لگیں کب تک اس ناپاک

 ملک میں رہو گے۔ میں سکتے میں آ گیا۔ آنکھوں

 کی لیزر سرجری کروا لی ہے۔ آسمان ستاروں بلکہ

کہکشائوں سے مزین و مرصع۔

 اب کیا واپس لوٹ جائوں؟



A Historical perspective of the Caste system of Pakistan

February 12, 2010

Pakistan can proudly boost of having one of the oldest and the most organized caste systems in the world. This system always drew interest from the ancients to the recent sociologists. Plutarch and Homer studied it and made it a part of their ancient doctrine. Chankiya and Machiavelli added its necessary components in their celebrated works. Recently the salient features have been added in studying the covert mind control technique program of the CIA. This system has developed over centuries. However much fine-tuning has been done to it in the last 63 years making it the envy of the nations. Please note that for this article, all terminologies have been taken from the long lost book Castium Ajeebium Ghareebium Pakistnium by Plutarch. This book was supposed to be lost and was found last month on a theela (book cart) of Khori Garden.

Under this system, society has been organized under a system of unorganized chaos. All basic groups are circling around one major group reflecting the principle of oneness of god and the principle of circling around in spheres by this whole universe.  Any group who dares to move outside their circle is dealt harshly. Systems of punitive measures are set up for behaviour not compliant to the set norms. Separate belief systems are established for each cast. They have their own gods. The role of each cast is pre defined and gel the entire society into one fine tuned system. Here are the major casts starting from the bottom:

  1. Peoplius Commonus
  2. Middle Classus Dreamus
  3. Moulvius Venemous
  4. Militirus Industrius Land lordius Supremus


Peoplius Commonus

These are the work ants of the society. Also known as Scums Societius. Their sub casts are Harius Kissanus, Mazdoorus and Clerkus badshahium. Their main job is work for the pleasure and honor of the superior classes. They are educated in special institutions called Yellow Schools where special care is provided so not to educate them in the arts of independent thinking. However there are always exceptions. Usually they are allowed to merge into the second cast but any attempt to join the first class is dealt harshly.  This class is responsible for most of the street crimes under the garb of providing basic necessities of life to their families. However an excellent system of policing and law is available to take care of it. If the criminal escapes from the long arm of the law, his womenfolk provide pleasure and entertainment for the law providing force. All laws are basically made to control this class which is the largest is numbers. Another psychological tactic being used is called Democracy where they are provided a profound dream that they are responsible for electing their rulers, which are always from the first two classes. Usually a dose of 4-5 years of this medicine is provided after 10-15 years of direct rule of the first two classes. Another reason that this casts is at the bottom of the barrel is that Holy Book Constitutionlum 1973us absolutely provide no mention of this caste. They worship a circular God called Rotius. Efforts have been made in the past to introduce two more sub deities I:e Kapraos and Makanillium, however this caste soon realized that Almighty Rotius holds all divine power and now only worship this God. Favourite pastime includes have useless emotions of patriotism over fixed cricket matches and becoming suicide bombers to get a bang for their buck….literally.

Middle Classus Dreamus

This is the most colourful and the noisiest caste. Sub castes includes Philosopius dreamus, enlighted moderatium (also called Kafirium Khabeesium by Moulvius Venemous), Non Residentium Pakistinallius or those who wished to be in this class. The most famous member of Philospius Dreamus was a poet Faiz Ahmed Faiz who wrote a famous anthem Hum Dekhen Gay (we will see…Gay denote “will”, not the unholy practice of you know what). It is said that super caste Militrius Mimightius made a secret anthem to his reply Hum bhi dekhen gay tum kaisy dekhtay ho (We will see when and if you will see). However it is only sung in close quarters. This caste usually is responsible for providing the necessary trade and mercantile function, counting and accounting money for the super castes and dreaming to be the super caste. There have some instances of this caste merging into the super caste of Industrilus either by sheer good luck or marriage, which is again a function of sheer good luck. In other civilizations, this caste was mainly called the brain or the soul of the society however in the Pakistani system, they were used more as brain as it is used as a delicacy in Nihari. They are presented as a novelty to the visiting foreign dignitaries and are one of the major exports to the outside world. They earn foreign exchange and good name for the country. Favourites hobbies are writing useless blogs, poetry, earning degrees and being anchor persons. They believe in Almighty Dream. They worship it while they sleep. There had been some anarchist in its rank which were against the Holiest of the Holy practice of divide and rule and spread the world that we are all  brown people and outside world doesn’t give a damn whether we are sunnis, shias, mohajirs, Punjabis etc but they were soon shut silence by giving the example of mighty Belgians who discovered new frontiers of Anthropology by measuring the noses of the Rawandans and dividing them into Hutus and Tutusies. The resulting genocide worked wonders for the Global warming. Those who refused to listen to this argument were put to sleep thereby again helping the global environment.
Moulvius Venemous

Perhaps this is the most fascinating caste of all. Much research has been done on them by Anthropologists and Biologists. It is said that they are a sub caste of the ancient race of Preachius Unholium. Recently a thrilling discovery has been by some DNA specialists who have traced their DNA to the spitting cobra. However Moulivus Venemous has used evolutions to their advantage and have developed this trait to its finest degree. The cobra only spits venom to it enemy eyes, however Moulvius Venemous uses words to spread its venom over their own kind.  Whereas the cobra can maim only one enemy, the Maulvius can spread its venom over masses thereby providing new and fresh players for our national past time, “Who wants to be a Suicide Bomber.”

This caste has the unique ability to accept any member of the other castes in its ranks. It is debateable whether they worship anybody. There has been some research that they worship only themselves however more research needs to be done.  They are extremely articulate and learned and are responsible for discovering the lost two chapters of the Holy Book called The Halal Suicide and Close your mind to the earliest chapters. One of their biggest contribution to society are works like “1001 ways you can prove anybody Kafir” and “72 virgins…Here I come” (whether these virgins are male, female or boys depends on which part of the country you belong to). We are very proud to say that without their contribution, the policy of divide and rule would not have been possible. They were the first ones who recognized the unholy doctrine of that evil man Jinnah and worked very diligently to reduce its effects on the common masses.

Militirus Industrius Land lordius Supremus

Now we come to the finest caste of all. But first you have to understand the delicate relationship. This is the final culmination of three superior castes. Evolution to its finest. Instead of Survival of the fittest, the three superior castes joined forces to rule over the rest. In the beginning it was Land lordius who rightfully understood the rise the Militirus and Industrius caste and joined forces with them. The Holy Constitutionlum clearly mentions that all laws are made to protect these cast and they are clean of all mortal sins. Their belief system is highly secretive. It is called Allahus Supremus and Americus Mightimus is being worshiped by them but this is highly debateable. A logical argument against this theory holds that when all Pakistanis are suppose to start all deeds by proclaiming “ I begin with the name of Almighty Militrius, the most beneficent and the most strongest”, there is no need to worship any other God. The super caste however remains silent. They do not indulge is such petty issues. They are more interested in increasing the profitability of foreign financial and arms manufacturing institutions thereby providing a valuable service to the world economic growth. They are responsible for industries such as Defence Housing societies, Golf courses and off course textile mills. As mention before they believe in the global good. Instead of paying taxes, they deposit these funds in the global institutions that invest them either in global economic act ivies or providing short and long-term expensive loans to Pakistan. (Again a very valuable national service). As mentioned before they are great patrons of the divide and rule activities. Examples are Hudood, Tauheen-e-Risalat and Katam-e-Nabuwat ordinance. But the strangest trait of this cast is that it does not believe on this doctrine among its ranks. But more research is needed.  They have a sub caste of Civlium Bureaucratius, which helps them ruling the other lower castes

The above is just a brief introduction of a fascinating social structure. Much study is needed to further our understanding of the intricate working of these groups.

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February 12, 2010

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